In the last entry, I promised that I would try to be more upbeat following that one, and while things aren't all sunshine and rainbows yet, I am in a much better headspace than I have been, so its safe to update again. (yes, even though I am currently listening to The Smiths, I am doing a little bit better.)
I have been hanging out a little bit outside of work, which has been awesome. Last week a whole slew of us went out to celebrate the birthdays of a few co-workers, which was a drunken mess, mostly, but it was really awesome to get to talk to people in a different environment than usual. I mean, work is great and I love it, but there is just a difference when you are with people outside of work. For instance, two people can carry on an entire conversation and not have to stop in the middle of a sentence to help a guest or answer a phone or whatever random other thing pops up to prevent us from really having the chance to bond.
Last night a few of us went bowling, which was also a good time. It was different than when we all went to the bar, though, because at the bar there were like 30 of us or something, and bowling was only a few of us, so it was even easier to talk to each other and hang out. Today my finger hurt in a very particular place, and it took me all night to realize that it was because of the way I was holding the bowling ball last night.
Last week I learned that I have officially achieved full-time status at work (which makes sense since I have been working full-time hours since day one). Yesterday, for the first time ever, I got paid for a holiday without working. I have had jobs that paid time and a half for holidays, but never one that does holiday pay, so that made me pretty happy. Today, I figured out what I needed to do to sign up for health insurance (which was not hard, i just didn't see the message before today), so i'm all squared away and my coverage starts in a few weeks. I am pretty stoked about that.
Like really, very stoked.
This entire move has been an exercise in transition and change, both of which have been historically hard for me to handle. But I think that maybe I am learning that change isn't quite as scary as I had previously believed. Letting go of things that have been holding me back has been more freeing than I can even describe, and it is happening in every facet of my existence. At my core, I am still who I have always been, but that girl is finding her freedom and making herself known, and I think I was keeping a lot of who I am buried under layers of who I used to be. Does that even make sense? I'm sorry if it doesn't. It is quarter after two in the morning and I am listening to Dustin Kensrue cover Leonard Cohen, so who even knows what is going on right now.
I feel like I have more to say, but I think that is enough introspection for the night. I spent last night curled up watching "Angus" (one of my favorite movies ever. the soundtrack kicks major rear end.) and I think I am going to pick another movie and do the same thing tonight. Really I should just close my eyes and attempt to fall asleep, but I have been so terrible at sleeping lately that I feel like it probably isn't even worth the attempt at this point.
I was actually considering making myself some coffee, but I think that might wake the whole house, and they have to get up for work in a few hours.
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