stressed

I told AM over the weekend that things were going too smoothly in regards to this whole move, and that I was just kind of waiting for the other shoe to drop, so to speak. I was waiting for something to go wrong (waiting for familiar resolve...) and it was kind of making me nervous that up to this point nothing had.

Today I am so stressed out about the move and everything else that I am nearly paralyzed with anxiety. S texted me last night that school starts down there on August first. I was working under the assumption that I would have more time in August, but it appears that is not the case. I guess if I am subbing its not that big a deal, but if I want a more permanent position in the school district, I am going to have to wait a year to find one, which really sucks. I guess I could head down there early, but I am not ready for that, and since we dont have a place yet, and we wont until then, itll be tight living for a while, and I am not sure that I am okay with that, either.

There are some job issues up here, too, but I care not to talk about them until I get that straight. I am not happy right now, though, for sure.

I have been saying this all along, but I really just want us to find a place. Once we have a place I feel like I can make actual concrete plans concerning work and the move and everything else.

Here's hoping that some positive comes from my trip down there this week (which i still havent even bothered packing for.)