a little bit of distance...

i have been thinking about this a little bit over the past few days and i am kind of more surprised than i thought i would be. i don't know how to tackle this without stepping on toes or hurting feelings, but the fact of the matter is (and i have said this several times over) the whole point of this blog is to give a voice to the feelings associated with relocating 800 miles from everything you know, and this is a pretty big part of that process.

when i lived up in jersey i very often found myself struggling with the idea of friendship. i mean, i had all of these people that claimed to be my friends and all, but more often than not i would struggle to find someone to hang out with on any given night. i didn't really complain about it much because i felt like it was my fault for wanting to do things last minute so often, and i'm sure that it partially was, but i have been down here two months now and have a very good idea of who my friends back home really were. Not surprisingly, the three people i have really kept in contact with are the three that i would have considered my closest friends when i was up there.

i realize, too, that phones/twitter/facebook/text messages go both ways. but at the same time, i guess to me it feels pretty cheesy to make contact with someone that hasn't reached out to me, because the message would be something like "hey, Nashville is great! i am loving my new life here. my job is great, i am working on friendships with some pretty awesome people, and i am genuinely happy and feeling fulfilled." obviously, that is all great news, and a total 180 from how i was feeling up north, but i think that if i was on the receiving end of that message from someone else, i would be a little put off. maybe i am over-thinking it. i don't know. and maybe i am totally off base here, but this is where i am right now.

simple things are so different. if i was spending a lazy, stretch-pants sunday up north (on a non-eagles game day) i likely wouldn't have left my bedroom. here, though, i spent the day with my beat-up roommates (one has a concussion and the other hurt her shoulder) playing wii and being silly. i mean, i did also fall asleep on the love seat while watching tv and end up taking a five hour nap, but the whole vibe of the day was different.

i guess what it all boils down to is that maybe, with enough distance, it becomes way easier to see who belongs in one's life and who was just dead weight.