If you know me at all you probably won't believe this, but it is true.

Although anyone who has ever been in my car might not believe me, I really and truly do not like clutter.

One of the things that I am looking forward to most about this move is the fresh start in regards to my living space. When I was in college, I only had things that I needed with me, and a few meaningful trinkets. Everything had a place, and I didn't have mounds of stuff everywhere. I often think back on my bedroom in our house senior year, and while I don't have many fond memories of that place, I do miss the order and neatness.

My parents' dining room is the staging area for all of the crap that needs to be loaded into the cars. Every time I look into that room, I start to get anxiety, because I am sure that I am taking too much stuff, and then I start to worry because there is still stuff left in my room that I haven't gone through yet. I am very overwhelmed. I don't want clutter.

I keep reminding myself that there is stuff for the rest of the house in those boxes as well. I have a lot of stuff for the kitchen (but what if there is no room for my stuff, since the other girls are already moved in?) I have some stuff that could be used in the living room. I have a lot of stuff for the bathroom.  BUT I have about seventy five pairs of shoes.

Well, that might be a (slight) exaggeration, but I have a lot of shoes. Just call me Imelda.

I just don't want clutter. I want a room that is calm and relaxing. I think the bright color scheme that I have chosen are going to create a happy space. (A happy space? Who am I?)

I have to trust that I am only packing necessities. I have to trust that this is all going to be okay. I think my brain is just doing whatever it can to freak me out.

My nerves are shot. I am terribly itchy right now. It has to be stress or nerves. The pressure is definitely getting to me. I just want to be at 113, unloading my stuff and settling in.

Little by little I will get there and I will get through this. I know that without a doubt this is the best change I have ever made in my life (well, maybe quitting Wawa was better for me, because that is ultimately what got me to this point.) I just have to stop freaking out about all the stupid little crap that isn't going to matter in a month, and just finish what I need to do.

In a few days, I will be adjusting to a slower-paced, clutter free life, and I will be happy.